


Lily Wright's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (And Her Very Stupid Brother)

by StorytellerSecrets



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Greg Frickard Is His Own Warning, Headaches & Migraines, Illnesses, Jack is a stupid gay, Lily is a tired older sister, M/M, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other KFAM characters will show up too, rated for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 15:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19466557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StorytellerSecrets/pseuds/StorytellerSecrets
Summary: Lily gets sick, Jack makes a lot of mistakes, and Sammy just wants to do his job. The universe has other plans.Or: The Lily Gets Loved Fic, The Coffee Shop AU Fic, The Jack And Sammy Meet Fic, The Sibling Bonding Fic, The Actually Fake Dating Fic And The How To Come Out To Your Dumbass Gay Brother Fic





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me: *has 76 different WIPS to work on*  
> Brain: *gives me another one*  
> Me: goddamn it
> 
> So this is a thing I've been working on since January because I'm a slow writer but it's going to be very fun to write and hopefully fun to read.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I… Okay, so I told Luisa you’d go to her party,” Jack begins, looking uncomfortable.
> 
> “Why?” Lily seethes.
> 
> “Well, it was either that or I had to bring her to her own party as a date.”
> 
> “Jack - Jack you’re gay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *has 76 different WIPS to work on*  
> Brain: *gives me another one*  
> Me: goddamn it
> 
> So this is a thing I've been working on since January because I'm a slow writer but it's going to be very fun to write and hopefully fun to read.

Lily was used to the strange and unusual. Her department practically breathed it.

God, her department.

It involved a lot of very, very strange things. It required knowledge in nearly every area of expertise, and wisdom that could challenge that of Gandalf the Grey’s. It left Lily in situations she could hardly fathom, but could rarely question. It, her department, was her job, and it was a full-time one at that.

Her job, other than the part-time janitorial contract she had at the university, was taking care of the one and only Jack Wright. (Which, by the way, she did _not_ get paid enough for, no matter what anyone said.)

Being the older sister of Jack Wright was highly entertaining. Most of the time. Sometimes, it was a little less so.

Like the time with the lizards. Or the time when she found her brother covered in playdough after prom. Or the time when Jack stumbled home half-drunk and carrying a baby alligator. Or the time when Lily had to _return_ said alligator, which was actually a crocodile, to a man who looked like a mafia drug lord named Crocker (a man who she, admittedly, talked to every other week to check in on Chester the crocodile. Crocker, as it happened, owned a reptilian retreat on the other side of the city).

As it stood, Lily Wright had her work cut out for her on a _good_ day. On a bad day? She didn’t stand a chance.

Today was not a good day. In fact, it was so far from a good day it might as well be the opposite. Today, it seemed, was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

To start, she woke up with a headache. It pounded and seethed and it screeched and it writhed like a crocodile being lifted belly-up out of the water and Lily wanted nothing more than going to sleep.

The world, as is just-so-fucking-happened, didn’t give two shits about what Lily Wright wanted.

Which, really, probably explained why Jack came trampling into her room with the coordination and volume-control of a baby elephant. Her door slammed open and all two-hundred and thirty pounds of muscle rhinoed into her room (fucking rugby players).

A normal person would not be able to throw off all of the papers on her desk just by the small wind they create by running into a room, but her brother wasn’t a normal human by anyone’s standard, so Lily wasn’t very surprised when the stacks of reports and late-night homework assignments scattered across the floor.

Jack, however, seemed to be oblivious to his unearthliness, and he balked at the sight of the dozens of papers dropping off the desk and onto the floor.

She blinked, her brain not quite meeting the sight before her. Lily was sure that if it was any other day she’d already be screaming at him, swatting her hulk of a brother over the head. Today was not any other day.

“Oh my god, oh my god, Lils, please, I fucked up. Please help and oh my god, were you _sleeping_?” There’s incredulity at the end of his blather, and Lily knows why.

At least, she does once she turns her head the fraction of an inch that it takes to check her alarm clock.

6:28 am, it reads, and a twinge of panic spikes through her. She was late. _She_ was _late_. Lily Wright was never late, and right now, she was so late she’d probably missed most of her class. She moves, wincing only a little in a practiced manner, and quickly gets out of bed.

Well, she _tries_ to get out of bed, but her movements are a little too sluggish and uncoordinated, so she ends face-first on her scratchy carpet.

Jack laughs, an unreasonably loud and booming noise that reverberates through her aching skull. She winces and he laughs again.

“Have a little too much to drink last night?” he pokes, and she glares at him. As if _she_ was the one that got wasted on the weekly.

“As if,” she spits out and her brother takes a moment to look vaguely sheepish before his face falls back into a well-practiced look of contrition.

“Lily _please_ for the love of God you have to help me.” As her brother speaks her head pulsates in a pounding throb and she bites back a groan.

“What did you even _do_?” she groans, and her brother frowns, half-apologetic and 100% begging.

“I, uh, well, you see, that is-” her brother flounders and Lily sighs.

“Get on with it,” she snaps and Jack flushes before he nods and takes a breath.

“I… Okay, so I told Luisa you’d go to her party,” Jack begins, looking uncomfortable. Lily glares at her brother. She did _not_ like where this was going, and where it was going was straight towards the “Time For Lily To Fix This Train.”

“ _Why_?” Lily seethes.

Jack continues on, oblivious to his sister’s rage. “Well, it was either that or I had to bring her to her own party as a date.”

This gave Lily pause. “Jack - Jack you’re gay.”

Jack nods. “I know! That’s why I said I had a date, only I broke up with Eric months ago and I’ve got no one to go with, so I said we were planning something, but then she started asking where we were going so I panicked and said that you’d go if I couldn’t.”

Biting down a scream, Lily stood up. She walks towards her brother. She let a soft stream of air out her nose. Then she gently grabbed her brother by the face and stared into his eyes.

“Why? Why do you do these things to yourself?” she asks pleadingly, and Jack takes a moment to look the most panicked she’d ever seen him.

“I don’t know!” he shouts. Right. In. Her. Fucking. Ear. Lily’s fingernails pointedly dig into the side of his face. Then his voice quiets, “...please help, Lils.”

Lily takes a step back, prays to a god that didn’t believe in her, and sighs.

“Ugh. Fuck, fine,” she pauses to let out a groan. “Let’s fucking fix this, I guess.”

Jack beams. “Thank you thank you thank you!” he yells and Lily cover her ears as pain splits through the nerves behind her eyes.

“Shut up, dickhead!” she yells back without much volume before she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. It’s still too bright. She sighs heavily.

Jack’s voice breaks the momentary silence. “Are you okay, Lils?”

“Just peachy,” she grunts, removing her hands from her ears now that the imminent danger has passed.

“...So, how are we going to fix this?” Jack asks, hopeful and still clearly full of compunction.

Lily’s lips quirk into a smile. “Well, I’m not going to her party,” she starts, and she winces when she sees Jack open his mouth to protest. That, at least, gives him pause, and it gives her a moment to continue. “No buts, Jack. I’m not going to Luisa Mc-fucking-Callister’s party. She’s not even my friend and I literally have zero classes with her.”

“Then what do I do?” he asks mournfully, hope crushing at Lily’s admission.

Lily’s smile turns into a classic shit-eating grin before she can stop herself. Despite her own pain, this was going to be _fun_. Her classes can fuck themselves for a day.

“We, Jackie-boy, are gonna find you a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is impossible,” Lily starts, staring in disbelief as Jack’s most recent attempt of a date walks awkwardly away from the duo.
> 
> Jack turns to her. “I don’t understand this. He said he liked my hair!"
> 
> “That’s because he’s a hair stylist! That’s what he’s supposed to say!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I wrote this in one day and no I don't know how I did it and yes this fic will be getting updated because this is fun and entirely self-indulgent

“This is impossible,” Lily starts, staring in disbelief as Jack’s most recent attempt of a date walks awkwardly away from the duo.

Jack turns to her. “I don’t understand this. He said he liked my hair!” he says, pointing at the air where the “date” used to be accusingly.

“That’s because he’s a hair stylist! That’s what he’s supposed to say!” Lily whisper-screeches, a perpetual wince on her face from the volume of the mall.

“Well how was I supposed to know that?!” Jack argues, voice echoing, and a dozen curious heads swivel in their direction. Lily lifts a hand to her face, thumb and middle finger closing around the bridge of her nose.

“ _How_ are you this bad at flirting?” she moans miserably and Jack shrugs, unrepentant.

Lily sighs, something she is quite used to doing around her brother. She grabs his arm and starts dragging him through the mall. Well, she leads Jack through the mall, because if she tried to drag him she’d surely die.

“Come on, you fucking rhino, it’s already noon. It’s time for you to buy me lunch.” At the notion of him being the one paying, Jack doesn’t protest, and Lily weaves her way through clusters of people, her gigantic brother in tow, before she finally reaches the mall’s resident Chick-fil-A. 

Frankly, she’s surprised her brother didn’t put up more of a fight. The last time she’d tried to order Chick-fil-A, her brother had responded with a very expressive “no.” When she asked why, he’d responded, “It’s bigotry.”

Lily had snorted her coffee. “ _Bigotry_? Are you drunk?”

Her brother, unsurprisingly, had pouted. “No. I just don’t think it’s fair for people with nut allergies. They use peanut oil in everything, Lily.”

A moment after their conversation had tapered off, she’d been hit with a startling realization and let out a barking laugh.

“This is about Eric, isn’t it?” she’d asked, and Jack’s responding flush had been enough.

She supposes that now that Eric was out of their lives (which was all the better, the vegetarian little shit), Jack didn’t really have a problem eating at non-nut free restaurants.

She stares at the glowing red sign of the eatery before she feels a hand rest on her shoulder. She turns to her brother and lets out a questioning grunt.

“What do you want?” Jack inquires as they both lean against the railing separating the lines and walkway from the tables of customers. Lily pauses and takes a look up to the menu.

“Food,” she finally lets out, and Jack chuckles.

“Anything in particular?” he tries, and Lily grunts in lieu of answering and goes back to staring at the sign. Jack sighs and steps in line. Lily doesn’t follow, content to rest against the railing.

After a couple of minutes pass, the audio surrounding Lily melts into indistinguible buzzing, and Lily finds a sort of comfort in the sound. It reminds her of honeybees, in a way. Her head still pulses, but she finds that if she interprets it the right way it mingles with the buzzing like a strange techno beat. It’s unfortunate that Lily hates techno. Still, it could be worse. At least it isn’t country.

She blinks, and she’s being led to a table, her brother’s hand wrapped around her wrist. It’s a strange mirror to the way things usually go, and it’s not one Lily’s totally comfortable with. Still, she doesn’t have the energy to stop it, so she lets Jack lead her to her seat, her steps a little clunky as she tries to step in tune to the pounding in her ears.

“Here,” Jack starts, shoving a small box in her face. Lily takes it absently and sets it down before opening it. The smell of the burger inside wafts to her face and she feels the saliva build underneath her tongue.

“What is it?” she asks as she raises the burger in question to eye-level, scrutinizing the sandwich, which, now that she looks, is not a burger but rather some form of chicken sandwich. That makes sense, she thinks, given that they are at Chick-fil-A.

She takes a large bite of the breaded chicken sandwich and yep, it’s just as good as she thought it would be. The flavor of the chicken and tomatoes and lettuce and—

“—is that honey mustard?” she asks happily in between bites. Her brother nods in response while he devours his own sandwich.

“I shoove ish pashe,” Jack responds, cheeks stuffed, which Lily knows means, “I love this place,” but hears it anyways as, “Thank you Lily for helping me when you’re currently dying.”

Well, she’s probably not dying, but still. Ungrateful little shit.

All too soon, Lily finishes her sandwich and their shared fries, and it’s time for them to get back to work. They take to walking through the other section of the mall, squabbling over where they should go next.

“What if we went to the...uh, the…fuck. I don’t know where to look. I’m fuuuuucked,” he laments. Lily sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Excuse me, lovely miss, but I couldn’t happen to overhear and it sounds like you need a date?”

Lily turns around to meet the unexpected voice. It’s a medium-sized guy wearing glasses and a button-up shirt, who’s smiling rather languidly. He seems relaxed, which sets Lily off. What kind of person can comfortably hit on someone without being the least bit nervous? No one good, that’s for sure.

“For my brother,” she says gruffly. The man’s easy smile drops in an instant before it builds back up to a grin.

“Oh. That’s too bad, you’re a lovely specimen,” the man toutes, continuing, “I could probably hook you up with a lady lover for you brother, given that I get something in return.”

Lily meets his eyes and responds, deadpan. “Yeah, I’m good.”

The man’s right eyebrow twitches and he holds out a greasy hand.

“No, really, my name’s Greg Frickard and I really think I could manage to help you out. Come one, what kind of guy is going to hit on a girl like _you_ anyways? You should take the chance while you have it,” he postulates and Lily feels fireworks set off in her temples.

What an absolute _dick_.

Instead of letting Jack take the wheel, which he would, considering he’s bristling behind her and clenching his fists, she says the first thing that comes to mind before she saunters away, her brother in tow behind her.

  
“I’m gay.” _Nailed it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fun to write!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this!


End file.
